I am often amazed that highly accomplished, amazing Women are unsure of their own abilities.  In fact, I know that I often find myself ‘questioning’ whether I really can do something – even though I know I can and that I have something of value to offer.

These moments are directly related to our Self Confidence – our belief in our own abilities.  Interestingly, though, a  lack of Self Confidence doesn’t necessarily occur in all aspects of our lives.  It often just occurs in one small segment.  I see it when I speak to Women about their businesses – they often don’t feel that they have the necessary skills to achieve success however, this lack could also be in the area of parenting, or sports or anywhere.

A lot of the issues seem to occur from our belief that we aren’t experts, or expert enough in our fields.  Women tend to compare themselves to others around them and make a judgment of their worthiness based on the accomplishments of others.

A great example of this can be seen in an exercise class, like Yoga.  Many women turn up to their very first Yoga class and immediately apologize to the Instructor for not knowing what to do, or not being able to do each exercise.  Logically, we know that we shouldn’t have to know what to do, that in fact it is expected that we won’t know what to do – but that doesn’t stop us assessing ourselves against a ‘standard’ and finding ourselves lacking.

It doesn’t have to be this way, and you can start to boost your self confidence by applying the next 4 tips:

Stop The Negative Self Talk – we all talk to ourselves. Often, we talk to ourselves and tell ourselves how unworthy we are – I know I do.  We need to ‘catch’ ourselves doing that and change the self talk to be positive.  One great suggestion is to place a band around your wrist, like a rubber band or a friendship band – and when you start talking to yourself using negatives, simply flick the band, reset the mind program and use positive messages.  For example, if you find yourself saying – “Oh I’m not good enough to apply for that”, flick the band and say “I’m well qualified to do that…”

Learn To Say ‘No’ and just ‘No’ –   It is really hard for a woman to say ‘No!’.  Generally we want to help everyone and will say ‘Yes’ even when we know that we can’t possibly fit the work into our schedule.  Even when we do start to say ‘No’, we find we have to explain why we are saying ‘No’.  It’s o.k to say ‘No’ and we don’t have to explain why.  Learn to say ‘No’ and just ‘No’.

Accept That We Are Experts – we need to accept that we are expert in our chosen field and stop being so hard on ourselves.  There will always be others who know more than us, just as we will know more than others.  Accept that you are an expert and be kind on yourself when you set your goals.

Start Acting Like The Person You Want To Be – break the pattern today and start acting like the person you want to be.  Smile and take joy in life and you will soon become that person.

I had the privilege of speaking with Kate Sanner from Boost Your Self Confidence in 90 Days on the Stretch Your Mind And Body talk show this week  and she shared some very interesting insights into how low self confidence can occur.  Kate spoke mainly about Women and Self Confidence in Business however, her messages can be applied to every part of our lives. Listen to the show:

Kate Sanner has developed a new Teleseminar “The 7 Secrets to Total and Lasing Self-Confidence” that will take place on Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at 8:00 PM ET.

This teleseminar will offer valuable information to help you push past your self-imposed limits and learn the secrets to identifying and breaking your blocks to self-confidence.  You’ll also have the opportunity to learn all about Kate’s upcoming “Boost Your Self-Confidence in 90 Days Training Program.”

To sign up for this free teleseminar – click on this link 7 Secrets To Total And Lasting Self Confidence.